This in response to JordanPWhite’s post on http://talkaboutmyfeelings.wordpress.com/ (check out his cool site!)
Firstly, I have to agree – that this Tiger Woods’ cheating scandal in no way should affect the public opinion of Tiger-the golfer” – for which we have come to know him for, and what he’s contributed to this sport – after all, his claim-to-fame was not “family-man of the year”.
All of this hoopla has arisen for 2 main reasons:
the first reason this scandal has taken on a life of it’s own – it as you rightly put it – “our hum-drum” lives are so boring – we have to look into the “closets” of others to feel better about ourselves or alive – whatever you want to call it – I heard this from hightly educated folks that watch Jerry Springer –the spectacle – makes them feel that hey “life’s not so bad after all – I don’t have 10 different baby-mamas – or my cousin isn’t cheating with my husband, etc…”
The second, and perhaps more interesting reason for this “insanity” is that we (the public) imposed this image of the “good family man” on him (with the help of his public image consultants) as it makes it easier on our brains to “categorize,” store and retrieve information on the a person. Humans in general have this “need” to have every thing in life categorized neatly as “good” or “bad” – so when we need support or guidance on a choice or decision – we reach into one of these 2 boxes in our memories to help everything to make “sense” if you will. For example:
“Not only is Tiger a GREAT golfer, but he’s also the perfect family-man”–Thus, Tiger = good (let’s put him in the “good box”) he can support my ideas on life and all that is “good.”
Where as, if I said
“Tiger Woods, good golfer, but Bad family man”
where do I classify him? How can he support my biases?
Most of us don’t have to make “golf” related decisions on a daily basis – but we do make consumer consumption-related decisions on a daily basis, let’s say – I have to buy some TP – who buys this premium brand of TP – that I can justify the “insanly priced” paper product purchase? Does Tiger?
All we have to access “Tiger” on as a person is “the bad family-man, cheater” – perhaps I won’t buy this TP after all – what would it say about “me” as a person – to use the same brand that he does? We humans are big on “generalizations.” There are no “boxes” for something that is neither good, nor bad. But this is another discussion on memory formation, storage and recollection that is for neither here nor there at the moment.
My last thought on this “Tiger matter” is that this is a private matter – that should be kept so for the simple reason that the innocent victims of this (Tiger’s wife and children and respective families) have to be subjected to this public humiliation over and over again -
This is a cruel and unusual punishment for these folks as when a “regular Joe” cheats on his wife – his spouse and children are given the space they need to grieve the loss of their family’s dynamics in peace, to sort out the feeling and potential courses of action they can and might persue, without bias from the entire world. Why shouldn’t Elin and co. be given the same respect?
Well, the most interesting thing I heard on why “Elin should not be given this right,” was actually from female members of my circle that not only would continue to support Tiger and the brands that he endorses (if there are still any left), but they also had a rather harsh opinion of his wife.
Their feelings on the matter, was that this was “par for the course” – if you will – that Elin, was a “nobody” before she latched on to Tiger for fame and money. (I thought she was doing quite well for herself in her “pre-Tiger” days – but what do I know?) So this is her punishment or “karma” for latching onto this “famous – wealthy” young man for the wrong reasons (i.e. not love). My circle of friends seems to be of the opinion, that Elin knew what she was getting into when she signed on for this “gig” and I call it that -as some believe this whole charade was an elaborate act on her part, that she got something out of this deal “farce of a marriage” – to bolster Tiger’s public image and make him more marketable – as a product) that she would have know he was a “cheater” in the early – pre-wedding days – but money was a far stronger and sweeter mistress for Elin, that she could overlook these small transgressions of Tiger’s cheating at the time- and now that he’s amassed a massive fortune, and she is past her sell-by-date, with 2 kids for extra added “ka-ching” in the bank account – it was time to call in her chips.
Everyone’s entitled to their opinions – and we don’t have to agree – but that’s my 5 cents worth on the Tiger-matter.
I’d have to say that although I’m guilty of reading tabloid nonsense and gossiping about it I’m continuously taken aback by the lack of support that women can have for eachother. None of us know what Elin was thinking when she entered into this marriage but at no time should anyone, male or femaile, have to just accept a spouses bad behaviour. So Tiger’s rich and famous…why does automatically mean that his wife should have expected to be treated disrepectfully? The fact remains that Tiger has a lot of explaining to do and none of that explaining should be directed at us the public.
good point there Okandthenwhat. How’s the coal mines?
great blog. Thanks for reading mine as well!
thanks